Crafter's House Party ...

... Instalment number 3 and definitely the CHILLAXING one! Just love that word (is it one really?)

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It was Nita's birthday on the Saturday and a cake was expertly made, and smuggled, by Pippa. Don't you just love that little Cuttlebug? Beautiful moist fruit cake. I loved it! She had loads of cards - mainly all handcrafted ones - but stupid me didn't photograph them *doh* Now that was a missed opportunity but .... there were plenty who did!

Just had another call from the Resource Centre that Dad's in at the moment. He's had another fall. Not serious as apparently he slipped of the bed and had a bit of a bump but they have to let the family know when it happens, no matter how minor. Seems he's still got the urinary infection and he's having his physio regularly. OT is also working with him but by the way they were speaking he's not coming out anytime soon as she says it was still 'early days in rehab'.

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Crafter's House Party ...

... 2nd instalment! This time around and about but, not by far.

Not being able to walk more than a few yards at any one time I was pretty restricted as to where I went *LOL*. I did manage, over the few days we were there, to cover the area near to the cottages but couldn't venture further away from them so this is the immediate vicinity, a bit of flora from the plantings and views into the distance looking away from the cottages (mainly in one direction, I've just realised *doh*)

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Another photo opportunity arose when one of our party was taken ill. Being the kind, caring souls we are to our friends we just had to record it so, out came the cameras *lol*

We did manage to get her laughing ....

... before the morphine took effect and she had to be stretchered to the ambulance. (Had us laughing at her attempts to walk to it - even with support both sides!)



Safely 'stowed' in the ambulance ready for 'the off' ...



... and wouldn't yer just know it? There's always somebody wants to get in on the act *LOL*



Now she's not greedy but most people can make do with just one emergency vehicle!



Kept in for 2 nights while the rest of us dined and came home on Sunday (with exception of Jackie who stayed until Debs was discharged), scans on Monday and sent home but .......... the diagnosis is in and it looks as though the problem can be sorted so, perhaps something good did come from this weekend for Debs. Not quite the same as for the rest of us but perhaps a bit longer lasting ... hopefully!

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He's still there ...

... Dad, that is, in Respite - except it's not now! On Friday, while away on the House Party weekend I had a call from the carers at the Respite home. Selfishly, I immediately wished that I wasn't being called home! With all that's happened over the past months I really needed this break away. Anyhow, it was them expressing concern at his mobility and asking if they could keep him longer so that he could receive some intensive physiotherapy. I've no problem with that and at least I knew he was being looked after, especially as they also suspected that he had a urinary infection.

Visited yesterday to take him more of his medication but he wanted to go home. He said he couldn't take another day or two in there as it wasn't like it was before and he hated it. He then wept. Seems he does have a urinary infection and he's obviously not feeling too well but what was upsetting him most were the 'accidents' he was having. I think he feels he's lost his dignity - which, in some respects, he has. The staff are finding it difficult to understand the change in him - from being reasonably independent, mobile, cheerful and helpful to an old man who is not being co-operative, argumentative and not at all cheerful or helpful. He's very confused but that could be the infection, although he was like that before he went last Monday - he's just not getting any better. From what he described he's already getting physio .... in a gym!

Today they planned to move him from Respite into Intermediate Care. The place he stays in is known as a Resource Centre for the short term care of the elderly through Respite, Rehabilitation following hospital stays and Intermediate Care to prevent unnecessary hospital admission. In the area he's moving to he will have a dedicated Social worker, nurse, home care support worker, physiotherapist, occupational therapist and administrator who will work together to find the best way of supporting him so that he can return home with a full and proper care package for his needs now. He will be completely assessed, both physically and mentally so I'm expecting him to now be officially diagnosed with dementia. I would be very surprised if he's not! This stay could just be for another week but it could be for up to 6 weeks.

Poor Dad wasn't happy when I told him but, by the time I left him, he was a lot happier than when I arrived. I think he was extremely confused and hadn't understood anything that was happening to him. I'm not sure he completely understands now but he seemed less stressed.....

I'll pop in later in the week to see how he's settling in the new section - different floor, different room, different staff but hopefully they will be able to get him right - whatever that is for him nowadays. They did say that residential care will be a completely last resort as 'it's not very nice'. They've confirmed to me that his new home should be able to give him the same level of care as a residential home except he has his own flat for his independence - it's why it's been built - so from that point of view he is extremely lucky to have got in there. It's just getting him settled and finding the right level of care then he should be OK.

Went past his old home today and it's being gutted by the look of it. I'd left the nets up at the windows to make it look as though it was still occupied but they'd been taken down and there was stuff (looked like wood) thrown on the front garden. Reckon they're pulling out the old kitchen and bathroom and possibly even changing the boiler. 55 years living in that house with the original 'kitchen' - term used loosely for one wall cupboard, sink with cupboard under, larder and space for a cooker, fridge and washing machine (although not 50+ years ago - *lol*) - and the original bathroom and toilet. He moves out and what happens? All new stuff when they've managed without for all those years! The workmen outside watched me drive past. It was if they knew that I was connected.

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Crafter's House Party ...

... pictures - well some of!

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Jak's 'broken' man .... mended and back on full guard duty!

Night owls have the sunset but those with trouble sleeping get the sunrise and ..... I had sunrise with the early morning ground mist rising in the distance between the trees and the swallows starting to fly around. So peaceful and pretty at .......... 4:45 in the morning *LOL*

More to follow .....

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It couldn't have ...

... been better! Our Crafter's House Party! I've loads of piccies to sort through - some good, some bad, some indifferent at a quick look but, there will be some posted later. In the meantime ...

It was wall to wall sunshine all the way so the Spanish contingent did well (and the forecasters got it wrong)! Leg really did stop me walking anywhere, which was unfortunate 'cos the surrounding area was as flat as could be and stunningly beautiful. The cottages - well, they were better than we could ever have imagined! Certainly fell on our feet with it all, weather, location, accommodation and the best company! Crafting was there if wanted but it wasn't obligatory. Some did and some didn't do any, which was fine. I had a few tips on Prisma colouring and I've finally decided that my problem with watercolouring is .......... water! We tried new things and visited old things. Some of us had therapies (mine? - Hot Stones massage and Indian Head massage - bliss!) - some standard, some tailor made for our specific problems. Some went walking and some just sat and talked. We ate well - at the cottages (sparked off by a huge plate of flapjacks made by the lovely owner - thanks Jean!) and finishing with a beautiful meal at a local restaurant on Saturday. Some drank well. *grin* The one thing that we all did - we chillaxed!!

There was one downside though - there always has to be something, doesn't there? One of our party was taken ill and had to be ambulanced to hospital where she still is today - waiting on scans to determine what the problem is so it can be treated properly. She's been suffering for a while now so hopefully this will, at last, give her her health back and she will have gained something from the weekend as well. Even this had an upside though! The inital response Paramedic was a crafter so she totally understood what we were talking about and where we were coming from. She's even managed to follow up on the patient .... through Jak's blog (which is more up to date than mine) and even leaving a comment *LOL* Anyway, guess Debs has given us an excuse to repeat it sometime in the future so that she hasn't missed out completely!

There was only one complaint that I heard ..... it wasn't long enough! *LOL*

Today it's back down to earth. Had a call from Respite while I was away. They want to keep Dad for at least another week to increase his intermediate care because of his poor mobility and give him some intensive physiotherapy. What really worries me is that, before he moved, he was able to walk without any aids. Not well, admittedly, but he's not walked well for years however, he could still walk without aids. It seems he can barely walk at all now. Why? Perhaps he damaged something when he fell a couple of weeks ago but, without him going to hospital (which he refuses to do) there's not much chance of knowing that. It seems that he wasn't walking as well as normal before his fall anyway. Everything changed the day he moved!

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I'm so excited ...

... and I just can't hide it .....! Been a while since I felt like singing - OK, so that's not necessarily a bad thing!

Tomorrow is nearly here and I can't believe it's finally arrived. Mine and Jak's Crafter's House Party. It's seems as though it's been an age coming but - where have the last 18 months gone?

I've now got everything packed - well, what's not packed now isn't going so, if I've missed something off my list, it stays missed 'cos it's all in the boot of my car ready for the off tomorrow morning. Boris, my satnav (Boris 'cos it's a German make called ...... Becker!), has been programmed and I've printed a hard copy of the directions just in case Boris fails (it's happened to me before, although not by Boris - *LOL*). I've got 2, not quite full, crates of craft stuff and a tiny boot so that is nearly full. I do have a bit of room to add some smallish bits like laptop and hopefully some of Greta's stash but the cases will have to be anchored on the back seat of the car. This is when I wish I had a bigger car!

I'm aiming to leave around 8am hoping to be with Greta by 9:30-ish. Shopping delivery to the cottages is booked for between 2 and 4pm so want to be sure we're there to receive it. Rather be too early and stop for lunch if journey goes well, than be late. It's an estimated travel time of 2½ hours from Greta's house so should be OK. I have a feeling that our Spanish contingent have arrived in the UK already as their flight was around mid-day I think but, they don't seem to have bought the sun with them, although it's not too cold. I'm hoping that our weather forecast is wrong 'cos it would be so nice to sit outside relaxing.

Camera is packed and lappy is coming as well but whether I'll link up to the internet ............. ? We'll see. I'm hoping for a few tips from the PSP users - amongst other things *LOL* It'll be a novelty if I get a card made!

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Why did I ...

... start????? My home looks as though a bomb has hit it at the moment which, in a way, I guess it has. I'm trawling through my craft stuff pulling out what is needed for the forthcoming Crafters House Party. I'm sure I've got enough out to last a month at the moment and it's only 2 full days - one of which is a 'treatment' day as well! We're possibly not spending all our time crafting either (apart from the treatments) although weather forecast is not good so more may be done than otherwise might have been. I think I need to get it all out, lay it out then put half of it away again - *LOL* I know I'm taking a fair few of the tools, like Cuttlebug, guillotine, punches for some floral punch craft etc but what papers do I need and what card and what embellies and .... well, you get the idea! Then there's my personal tools, glues, sticky pads, inks and stamps (although they're likely be shared). I've actually found my Prisma's and Sansodor so that's a bonus 'cos I thought they'd got lost in the deepest depths. There are some things I wanted to take that I haven't found - yet. I'm so hoping that I do find them though, as I have a plan!

Only 2 more sleeps to go *whoop-whoop* ...................

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Could have been ...

... a better day!

First was my doctors appointment. Bloods show my sugar levels have increased again but he wants them re-done in a couple of months before they class me as 'officially' diabetic but it's above the threshold anyway so reckon that's a foregone conclusion. They also showed that there was some inflammation going on but no clue as to why. X-rays showed nothing untoward with my hip (which is what I expected) so it's continuing with the heavy duty pain killers for now while I wait for an appointment with a Rheumatologist. Doc reckons I need scans of the bone and soft tissue (again, what I expected) as he says there's something definitely going on but there's really no clue as to what. He's asked for an urgent referral and I'm to ring him if I don't get an appointment within 4 weeks. He will chase up.

Worse part of the day - Dad!! Went to pack him up and get him ready for respite and if I thought he was bad before, well, I hadn't seen anything! He was like a completely incoherrent zombie. He was shaking badly, barely noticed I was there and when he did made no sense at all. He was bordering on hallucinating, unable to see clearly and couldn't place a cup back on a table, which he thought should have been at floor level. I went to find the Care Manager to find out what had gone on over the weekend and she thought he was doing well! If only they knew the man I knew 2 weeks ago, but they only know him as he's been since he moved.

I'm hoping I've found, if not the whole reason for how he was today, a good part of it. It's a case of the 'cor blimey to the ridiculous'! I'm pretty certain he's gone from taking none of his pain killers to overdosing on them. A new box of his daily ones, that was only opened last week, had barely enough left for his week in respite. He's taken 3 weeks worth of pills in about a week! The carers are reminding him about taking them and getting them ready for him as well but it seems that he's also, finally, decided to self-medicate. He must have known he shouldn't have been having both lots because he emptied his trouser pockets today and gave me all the empty tablet packs he'd hidden/saved - but 'forgotten' about. It looks as though he's been doing the same with his night ones as well. What I can't understand is why the carers hadn't noticed how quickly these painkillers had been going down. He's only supposed to take 2 tablets every 6 hours with a maximum of 6 tabs a day. In respite they're dished out at the relevant times and kept in a safe inbetween times. I'm hoping that, once he's getting the correct dose of all his meds this week, we might be able to start getting him back on track but I'm not confident as I think he's now tipped over the edge. Having spoken to the Care Manager at his new home, his meds will be kept away from him when he goes back home and he will no longer have access to them unless he's ever in a position to self-medicate again.

He's never been diagnosed with dementia - having convinced doctors previously, over the years, he didn't need the necessary tests - but the Community Nurse today spoke of his dementia in general conversation. Having told her he'd never been diagnosed with it she gave me a funny look and said, maybe not but ..... I know he's had mild dementia for years but he's never been labeled. Reckon that will change very soon - and it'll be no longer mild.

I hope he enjoys his week away, as he's done before, and I hope it is a turning point to bringing him back to us. Everybody, except the Community Nurse, seemed to think it a good idea he went as it was something familiar to him. I'm hoping she's proved wrong!

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Just like a bus ...

... wait for hours then they all come along together *LOL*

Friday 5th ... Had to deliver the Baby Burco to Shoreham so decided to combine the trip with one to ............. yep, the Dogs Trust *hehe*. This time with box loads of videos and books from my place (been saving them to do a car boot but that ain't never gonna happen now!) and a few other bits and pieces. All done and back home by 1:30pm. Time to relax and rest leg, which had rather been through the mill the past few days. Had just finished a cuppa when phone rang. 'Twas a carer ringing me to tell me Dad was having problems walking. He'd pressed his emergency button (never used before in the 6 months he's had one) and it had taken 2 of the male carers to help him get from the bathroom to the sofa in the lounge. He'd asked them to ring me to let me know - apparently. Not sure what he expected from me - although I had my suspicions *lol*. I'd changed the walking frame to a slightly taller one so told them I'd drop it over to him. When I arrived he was walking, with his stick, but on his own and a handful of choccie biscuits *lol*! He tried the frame and seemed to get on well but what he didn't realise was that I saw him leave the frame and take a few steps, completely unaided, on his own - which he did regularly before his move as he didn't always use his stick. His care notes told me that he'd been refusing his pain killers all week but he'd taken some that morning. How can you make somebody understand that they need to take their medication otherwise there are consequences and his difficulty in walking is likely to be the consequence of not taking the medication? He told me he didn't need them but he obviously does because when he takes them he's able to walk - without them it's difficult.

While I was there a physiotherapist, ordered by his new GP, arrived so I thought I'd stay so that I knew what was happening. Suddenly Dad decided I didn't need to stay - *doh!* He was put through his paces and he actually surprised me with what he could do for her but can't, apparently, normally do for himself. He's not good on his feet and hasn't been for a long time but it seems he does have a good amount of strength in his legs and arms and a reasonable range of movement. Falls, although he has the odd one, are pretty rare. Physio had been with him 15 minutes when he suddenly snapped to me "are you still here?" Seems he really didn't want me seeing him performing for the physio. He wanted her to see him at his best so that he didn't have her keep calling but he didn't want me to see what his best was .... Sort of confirmed a few things to me in a way so it was worthwhile hanging on to see. The physio is going to call while he's in respite and it looks as though it may be a regular visit to get him exercising and stretching. Perhaps it's something his old surgery should have arranged years ago. Upshot was, I left him having his evening meal with instruction that he takes his painkillers as he should, that the carers will ring me if they think there's a need and that I would see him on Monday. Have I heard any more since Friday afternoon? Not a word! Bonus - it seems he's finally going to bed, unless .....

On another positive note - he actually did go to the coffee morning on Thursday and enjoyed it, he said. Not sure how long he stayed but the important thing is he went!

I've finally managed to have time to get all the backlog of paperwork and accounting done, shopping list for next weekend and had time to relax and watch my good friend Jak on Create and Craft TV this afternoon demonstrating the latest release in the La Pashe Flippin' range ... Flippin' Teenagers. Just love this set and my order will be going in tomorrow to the imag-e-nation eshop.

I've got a visit to my GP tomorrow for the results of my X-ray and blood tests. Have a feeling I know what the bloods will tell me and the X-ray. I'm expecting the latter to show nothing and the bloods to tell me I'm now officially diabetic! Pain in leg (which is a pain in the butt!) has moved and changed in the last couple of days, although I'm still getting twinges in the original site. I'm even more convinced that it's a soft tissue problem. Doesn't help with the walking though.

Will be collecting Dad for his respite break tomorrow afternoon so that could be interesting after a whole 2½ days without me seeing him. The longest it's been since his move. I'm hoping he's back to taking all his medication as he should do, as well as eating properly which he's not been. Still, one step at a time ...

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Said I'd be playing ...

... catch up! Been so busy since my sleepless night and not all of my own making.

Thursday 4th ... was a pretty emotional day altogether. It was the day planned to do the final clearance at Dad's old home - my childhood and 55 years of my life. Fridge and freezer had been sold easily and even an old Baby Burco wash (now called water) boiler found in the loft. Eldest offered the use of his van so we only needed to do one tip run which actually had to be arranged in advance with the Council because of it being a van we were using - even if for general 'household waste' only.

Garden shed, as well as the house, had to be cleared of what was left after the Freecycle 'open house' so a good few spiders were made homeless *LOL*. When it came to it the only stuff to dump was what was left in the shed (not much) and some vertical blind brackets that I hadn't realised were still in situ. The actual blinds were disposed of a while back when clearing the bedrooms in preparation of the unwanted wardrobes going. Bit of a waste 'cos vertical blinds cost a fortune and they would have stayed (or earnt money for the dogs) had I realised the fixings were still there! I'd already made an 'executive decision' to leave the carpets in place as they were in good condition, albeit a couple being a bit dated. They would still give service to the next tenants while they got themselves sorted out. If Council decide they're to come up they can take them up and charge us - although they'd said that the lounge, stair, landing and hallway carpet could stay. Everything else that was left went to the Dogs Trust and it ended up being less than a boot full which my brother, who came through to lend a hand, took and delivered on his way home. Collected all keys, closed house up, had a few tears and away home I went - only to realise, an hour later, I'd forgotten to read the meters!

Went back and read meters, voted in the European Elections on way home (wonder if that was a waste of time or not) and sent the readings in via t'internet. Keys bunched and labeled (not sure if that was required but done anyway) and put in an envelope all ready to go back tomorrow (Monday) morning.

With all that done I was anticipating a few days to myself so that I could clear accounts and paperwork that had been building and to start the final preparations for next weekend and the Crafter's House Party. Unfortunately it seemed that Dad had other ideas ..... *crying*

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The post below ...

... is the one that I started in the early hours Thursday morning but didn't get published. There was a glimmer but things moved on and I may have spoken too soon!

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A glimmer ...

... of light, perhaps? Called on Dad on Wednesday and he was quite a bit brighter. Best of all he was moving more like he normally does (never good at the best of times) and he got himself something to eat and drink while I was with him. Can only hope it continues. I'm not going back until Monday when I go fetch him for respite - unless I get a call out of course!

One thing that wasn't good and it had nothing to do with him, as such. He'd not long had a shower, with the help of a carer, when I got there. Very good news considering he'd virtually stopped washing let alone anything else. Problem was, the flat had been flooded! Walked in the front door and the first thing I noticed was the sodden carpet in the hallway. The 'bathroom' is a 'wet room' - or should be. Seems there's a bit of a design fault. It's only the immediate shower area that is sloped to the drain and the area only allows for one person to be in it at any one time. There is no room for a carer to work without the water spilling out onto the flat area of the room. Once that happens it spreads over the whole floor with nowhere to run to except under the doors into the carpet so it's not, technically, a 'wet room'. Not only was the hall carpet completely soaked but the bedroom one was as well.

Estate Manager was called and they've now got to find some way of stopping it spreading so far. Reckon it would have been better if the whole floor had sloped gently to the drain then an army could have got in to help without fear of flood. Obviously architect didn't take into account the 'care' part that would be needed in most of the flats .... Have no idea how long the carpet will take to dry out. They left me to mop the bathroom out but I had nothing to soak the water up from the carpet. Think they'll be replacing it if it starts to smell! I'll be keeping an eye on that one ....

Anyway, shower he'd had, clothes changed and carer told me he would be coming back to shave him. Now Dad has never had anyone shave him before. He's always managed his personal care for himself although he needed help with the shower but more to show him how to use it than anything. He's not used a shower in years, preferring to bath. I told the carer Dad was perfectly capable of shaving himself but he didn't seem convinced. Off he went and duly returned to shave him but while he'd been gone Dad had done it. I've tried to explain to carers that Dad can do a fair bit for himself (hence only the basic care package put in place) but, if he thinks somebody else will do it he will let them then he expects it on a permanent basis - which means they will need to have the care package reviewed to be able to increase it. All they need to do is to encourage him to do things, not do them for him unless he's really unable to do so and that's rare. I know Dad is getting fed up of the number of times the carers are calling in on him so perhaps that's the catalyst he needed to start doing stuff for himself again. Have to admit he's got a lot calling 'cos the ones the doctor arranged are calling as well as the inhouse ones. He says he doesn't understand why or why they think I live with him! He can't remember telling them I do, doesn't understand the extra visits are because of his fall and confusion and now thinks he's been living in the flat for weeks - not days! Still, if it's got him doing things again then they've served a purpose. He'd still to use his bed but I know he knows where it is now - just don't know why he's choosing not to go to bed at night. I'm hoping that will have changed by my next visit.

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Would you believe ...

... I started a new post at around 3am this morning and planned to publish it today,with photo's. Time and Dad has run away with it today and it's still not ready and I'm pooped 'cos I was up part of the night last night, unable to sleep. Mix of fortunes over the past couple of days again. Just seem to be on a see-saw at the moment but let's say, I'm learning fast! Have to play 'catch up' over the weekend again. Missed friends birthdays this week and likely to miss some next if I don't start and get my act together. Would have some grovelling to do except - they're all good people who will understand. The type that make the world a decent place to live in and give you faith in the majority of the human race. Quality!

... and the countdown is continuing. Less than a week to the House Party now - woohooo!

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There's been an ...

... horrendous few days this past week - as well as the odd little ray of sunshine! I am so regretting Dad's move. His deterioration continues apace and Sunday I hadn't been home from the littlies more than 15 minutes when phone rang. It was the Care Manager. Dad had had a fall (quite a rare occurance for him, although not unknown) and they'd called the Paramedics who wanted to take him to hospital. They asked my permission, which I gave but wished them well in getting him to go! I knew he would fight tooth and nail not to. A little later I got a call to say that they'd left him where he was because he got very angry so, against their advice he stayed but they arranged for an out of hours doctor to call later that evening. That doctor called me rather concerned at his confusion and wanted to know what he was normally like - although only over the past week so, since his move. Difficult to answer that one when he's worse each day. If I'd have been asked Tuesday night the answer would have been totally different! He bares no resemblance to the person he was before his move but he has got worse with each day. She told me he had told her I'd moved in with him and was living there as well. She recommended that he was assessed as a matter of urgency and said she'd be putting in a report to his surgery.

Rang his surgery yesterday morning to get something arranged and, because he was now out of their catchment area, they didn't want to know. I realised that he would probably have to change surgery but, bearing in mind how many years he'd been with this one and with very little call on them, I thought they might deal this once by way of emergency but I was told 'without exception'! Had to spend time finding another surgery who would take him on immediately. The one I found bent over backwards to help and I ended up spending all day with him until doctor had been. It was so sad to see him - now unable to take responsibility for self-medicating, not able to make a cup of tea or a sandwich and barely able to walk, let alone get to a standing position from sitting. He's not washing, eating, drinking, going to bed, taking his pain killers or even opening his post and wonders why he has no strength to walk or do things for himself any more. All this in less than a week. The Care Manager has asked Social Services to review his care plan (she can't change it without SS's authority) so that they can, officially, increase his care. The doctor is arranging Intermediate Care for a while but indicated that she may, ultimately, recommend Residential Care.

The man I saw yesterday is not my Dad. Seems my Dad started to disappear the day he moved. Just how can somebody become so 'unable' in such a short space of time? He's done nothing towards caring for himself since he moved, just sitting waiting for everybody else to do it for him. He's not interested in his daily papers (never known), his books or the TV. I guess part of it is depression but it's not all by any means. I think he thought he was going into full time care and no matter how many times he was told he'd still have to continue to do things for himself as he has always done, it didn't compute and he's just been sitting and waiting, doing absolutely nothing between the carers visits. He's gone from walking with a stick, to a crutch that I gave him yesterday and, tomorrow he will be given a walking frame that I bought for him today.

I found out that he not only told the out of hours doctor, but also the Care Manager, that I'm living with him. When I asked him about it he denied ever giving anyone that impression but I've had it from different sources so he must have done. He's not telling me the truth about anything anymore and I now don't know whether I can believe anything he tells me. Was it worth it? Everyone keeps telling me it is and time will show that but, I'm not convinced - not at all. He's certainly been taking up more of my time since he moved than he did before! I'm mentally preparing myself for a flat clearing session sometime in the near future. He's off to respite for a week on Monday. I'm hoping that something he's familiar with will make a difference but I have no confidence that it will.

He's had his first social event invite for Thursday morning - a coffee morning in the communal lounge to meet other residents and the staff. As of yesterday, unless somebody collects him and takes him, he won't be going but I'll speak to them tomorrow and see if they will - if he'd like to ........

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Lovely afternoon ...

... yesterday with the littlies. Hubby was out all day, as was eldest, so had day to myself - or at least that's what was how it started out until very much later in the day .... another story. Went with youngest son to collect some bits from Dad's old place that we wanted (garden ornaments and oddments). Nothing planned for rest of day and as I was on my own I'd settled on a ready meal for dinner then, lovely surprise! Youngest phoned and asked if I'd like to ditch the ready meal and join him and the littlies for a barbecue. Well, not much needed to be thought about there - especially as he offered to pick me up and drop me home so that I could have a glass or 2 of the white grape juice *LOL* He reckoned I deserved a break and the littlies really do have a wonderful way of putting everything right with the world when you're feeling down. I'd already been given a little gift. Don't you just love the spelling of 'Grandad Jumbo' *grin*.... so sweet!

... followed by fun in the sun *LOL*

This plant was chosen by Emma, the eldest of the 3 littlies, because she wanted a plant in her garden to remember Grandma by. She chose it without knowing that Grandma's real, but never used, name was ..... Daisy! Spooky, or what? It's coming on a treat. Mind you, there's several bits from Grandma's garden that have now found their way to the littlies garden, including a bird bath and bird feeding station.

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Playing catch up ...

... with 'diary' posts! Here's a good bit - *wooo hooo*

Eldest son came up with an idea to help clear the unwanted stuff from Dad's old home. The stuff not suitable to take to the Dogs Trust, small electricals, gardening stuff and general junk as far as we were concerned. He suggested I tried to get rid via Freecycle. Well, from my experience of Freecycle I didn't hold out much hope but, nothing ventured, nothing gained so, on Friday I posted on the local Freecycle site - not individual items on offer but an Open House. I gave a 2 hour time slot with the address and put on a list of some of the items available but by no means all. The list?

DVD player
Single electric blanket
Cylinder hoover with tools
Steam iron
Shredder
Garden tools
Netting
Landscaping membrane
Cleaning mops
Dustpan & brushes (yep, plural)
Decorating stuff
Table and a couple of fold up chairs ...
Luggage trolleys
Rotary clothes dryer
Clothes pegs
etc. etc. etc.

Everything duly spread out in a restricted area and, not expecting anyone to turn up, I sat and waited. Dead on the dot of 2pm came the first visitors and so they came! Within ½ an hour there was hardly anything left. I was totally gobsmacked! There was a long 'corridor' type area that was filled all the way down it's length with stuff. There were 2 work surfaces spread with bits and and there was stuff under the work surfaces. The table mentioned in the list was also opened and spread with bits.

I wish I'd taken photographs of the original amount on offer but I didn't however, here's what was left just 30 minutes after the 'start' time (rubbish photos - took them on phone to send to youngest son who helped lay it all out ...)

The last of the visitors called at 3:30pm and the following is what was left at the end of the 2 hour slot (better photos, taken on camera *hehe*). Successful? You bet - and so much less to take to the tip. In fact, there's very little that will be going to the tip although there is another car load for the Dogs Trust .....

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Just how many ...

... tears can a person cry in one day? It's been an awful day.

I didn't call on Dad yesterday, thinking it would help him settle in better if I stayed away for a while but, I called quite early this morning to drop off his daily papers - I haven't managed to sort out a delivery yet. How I wish I hadn't! I've never seen anyone deteriorate so quickly. He has no idea where he is or what he's supposed to be doing. He was completely confused, could barely walk and virtually incoherrent. If I were to hear that he's been found face down on the floor I wouldn't be at all surprised.

This morning he wasn't fully dressed and couldn't put his shirt on, let alone find one. I then found out that he hasn't taken any of his pain-killers since he moved, despite being reminded to and showing him where they are (in the same place as they were before he moved) .... it's no wonder he's in so much pain he can barely walk. I tried to explain to him that he needs to take his medication but I don't think he's listening. Because he can, normally, self-medicate the carers haven't been dealing with that side of things - only his eyedrops. Fortunately a carer came in while I was there and I expressed my concerns about how much he's gone downhill (obviously they have no idea what he was like before he moved) so it's now been noted that he has to be reminded about his pain-killers - at least for the time being while he's settling in. Trouble is the pain-killers are 'as required' There's no set time for him to take them so he may not need them on their visit times. He's blaming everyone for not giving them to him or reminding him to take them but he never had anyone remind him, or give them to him, before - he just took them when he needed them. I get the impression that he thinks he's now in residential care where everything would be done for him (which is what he really wants rather than do anything for himself). I've tried to explain, again, that he has to do the same things for himself that he did before. That the carers are only taking over what I did for him ... and nothing else ... but I'm sure he's not listening.

He has just 3 rooms in his flat but he gets lost however, I think I've figured out why. He's the original 'crooked man'. He can't stand up straight. His posture is a figure 'S' and he shuffles his feet when he walks because he can't pick them up. His back and knees are permanently bent and his feet are splayed and, because of this posture, he's always looking at the floor when he walks. It suddenly hit me - he's navigated around his old home by the flooring ... probably for years. Each room had different flooring so he knew exactly where he was by what was on the floor. He never had to look ahead of himself to see where he was going and he's not doing so now and the problem? All the flooring in the flat is the same throughout, with the exception of the kitchen area (although that's the same colour) and the bathroom. I know he finds it difficult to hold his head up to look ahead but it hasn't occurred to him to even try to so that he can see where he's actually going. I need to think of a way of guiding him around the flat allowing for his posture ...

I've never seen my Dad as he was this morning and every time I think of it I am wracked with guilt that he is going through this because of me and the tears start again - for him and for me. I'm not calling now until Wednesday so I will see how he is then but, my brother is hoping to visit him tomorrow. Perhaps he'll have a different story to send me .... I'm so hoping he does!

There was a good part of the day today .... it'll follow in another post 'cos I've photo's to upload from camera first.

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'T's' now ...

... crossed! Poor Dad was really confused this morning and it was really upsetting for me to see him like it. He's having trouble understanding that, although the four walls that surround him and who is looking after him are different, nothing else is. I saw another of his carers this morning and he actually saw how Dad was. He wanted to know if he was always like it - which he isn't - and I explained that I thought it was the move as Dad doesn't take any sort of change easily, let alone such a major when. I feel so guilty for what he's going through at the moment as I guess I sort of forced the move on him - although if he'd really objected he could have stayed where he was - but we, including him, all realise that, ultimately it's the best thing for him and me. Just wish we didn't have to go through all this first. Still, he's off for a week of respite on the 8th so hopefully that will come at the right time for him and give him a breather. He knows respite now and is comfortable with that and I have my Crafter's House Party weekend while he's away ..... bring-it-on!

We've tried to keep everything as near as possible to the way he had things previously, including the layout of his furniture and how he has the contents of it. Unfortunately there wasn't the room at the foot of the bed for his wardrobes so they're by the side of it. He told me this morning he couldn't find them but ... he has to walk past them to get to his bed! He now knows where they are and also that the contents are in exactly the same layout that he knows. The same with his wall unit which houses a plethora of stuff. He's admitted he can't get his head around the fact that nothing has changed except where he lives. That his routine for medication and the like is the same. I had left the information handbook about the flat next to him to look through but he hasn't. Me and my eldest spent a couple of hours with him today and crossed the t's and I've told him I'll call back in a few days but haven't stipulated when so he won't be sitting expecting me at any specific time. It may help him settle if I stay away for a while so that he gets used to finding things for himself and gets used to having others care for him and getting to know his carers.

I spent the afternoon at the old house as there's still stuff to do before the keys go back and there was a fridge and freezer to go. Freezer went this evening so that was good as I only advertised it last night. Lounge, master bedroom, landing and loo are all clear and cleaned. Just 2 bedrooms, stairs, kitchen and outbuilding to clear and clean and the keys can go back ....

Have to say I'm suffering with my leg and now my back where I've been trying to protect my leg but, I'm also feeling physically tired in a good way!

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He's moved ...

... but not quite settled yet! Moving day was yesterday and, by the time he was left around 5pm he had a new home! Soooo grateful to my sons and the eldest grand-daughters for their help. It wouldn't have happened as it did without them. We, me and Dad, still wouldn't be halfway there and today it was the 'i' dotting, tomorrow will be the 't' crossing and it will all be done. Didn't anticipate I'd feel as emotional as I did - and still do to a certain extent - but guess it's my childhood finally passing. The house he's left has been the one constant in my life since I was 3. It's where I grew up and where I married my first husband from. It's been the basis of a lot of memories - good and bad - serious and amusing. It's now an empty shell but it's 'home' and guess it always will be. Dad spent the morning with the littlies while his home was emptied and moved to it's new location, joining us when there was space for him to sit and take in all that was going on. Eldest grand-daughter said she can't remember when she last saw him smile but he did a lot of it yesterday. Shame he spoilt it today when I was there on my own with him! He sent the morning carer away 3 times before I arrived, telling them he didn't need them and after that nothing seemed to be good enough. I suppose his emotions are on a roller coaster at the moment but I need to stop calling daily as soon as so, I'm hoping that tomorrow will be the last day I need to.

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