There's been an ...

... horrendous few days this past week - as well as the odd little ray of sunshine! I am so regretting Dad's move. His deterioration continues apace and Sunday I hadn't been home from the littlies more than 15 minutes when phone rang. It was the Care Manager. Dad had had a fall (quite a rare occurance for him, although not unknown) and they'd called the Paramedics who wanted to take him to hospital. They asked my permission, which I gave but wished them well in getting him to go! I knew he would fight tooth and nail not to. A little later I got a call to say that they'd left him where he was because he got very angry so, against their advice he stayed but they arranged for an out of hours doctor to call later that evening. That doctor called me rather concerned at his confusion and wanted to know what he was normally like - although only over the past week so, since his move. Difficult to answer that one when he's worse each day. If I'd have been asked Tuesday night the answer would have been totally different! He bares no resemblance to the person he was before his move but he has got worse with each day. She told me he had told her I'd moved in with him and was living there as well. She recommended that he was assessed as a matter of urgency and said she'd be putting in a report to his surgery.

Rang his surgery yesterday morning to get something arranged and, because he was now out of their catchment area, they didn't want to know. I realised that he would probably have to change surgery but, bearing in mind how many years he'd been with this one and with very little call on them, I thought they might deal this once by way of emergency but I was told 'without exception'! Had to spend time finding another surgery who would take him on immediately. The one I found bent over backwards to help and I ended up spending all day with him until doctor had been. It was so sad to see him - now unable to take responsibility for self-medicating, not able to make a cup of tea or a sandwich and barely able to walk, let alone get to a standing position from sitting. He's not washing, eating, drinking, going to bed, taking his pain killers or even opening his post and wonders why he has no strength to walk or do things for himself any more. All this in less than a week. The Care Manager has asked Social Services to review his care plan (she can't change it without SS's authority) so that they can, officially, increase his care. The doctor is arranging Intermediate Care for a while but indicated that she may, ultimately, recommend Residential Care.

The man I saw yesterday is not my Dad. Seems my Dad started to disappear the day he moved. Just how can somebody become so 'unable' in such a short space of time? He's done nothing towards caring for himself since he moved, just sitting waiting for everybody else to do it for him. He's not interested in his daily papers (never known), his books or the TV. I guess part of it is depression but it's not all by any means. I think he thought he was going into full time care and no matter how many times he was told he'd still have to continue to do things for himself as he has always done, it didn't compute and he's just been sitting and waiting, doing absolutely nothing between the carers visits. He's gone from walking with a stick, to a crutch that I gave him yesterday and, tomorrow he will be given a walking frame that I bought for him today.

I found out that he not only told the out of hours doctor, but also the Care Manager, that I'm living with him. When I asked him about it he denied ever giving anyone that impression but I've had it from different sources so he must have done. He's not telling me the truth about anything anymore and I now don't know whether I can believe anything he tells me. Was it worth it? Everyone keeps telling me it is and time will show that but, I'm not convinced - not at all. He's certainly been taking up more of my time since he moved than he did before! I'm mentally preparing myself for a flat clearing session sometime in the near future. He's off to respite for a week on Monday. I'm hoping that something he's familiar with will make a difference but I have no confidence that it will.

He's had his first social event invite for Thursday morning - a coffee morning in the communal lounge to meet other residents and the staff. As of yesterday, unless somebody collects him and takes him, he won't be going but I'll speak to them tomorrow and see if they will - if he'd like to ........

Thanks for dropping by .....