Friday 27 October 2017

Nearly 7 months ...

... of 'radio' - OK, blog, silence 'nawty' me!  I've just been reading some posts from way back in the first year of this blog because of a messenger convo I've been having with a friend this evening.  I started the blog intending it as a crafty one back in March 2008.  Mum suddenly took seriously ill and died within 4 days in April 2008.  The blog took a change of direction very quickly and became my way of dealing with what was going on.  It helped me deal with my emotions over the following months and years while looking after Dad and dealing with all the other things that life brings.  It became my release.  Then it became more like a diary and none of it was done with a view, or thought, of how public it was.  From my point of view it was for me.  If anyone read it that was fine but I wasn't bothered.  I started a second blog - called PeeJays Crafty Bits - just for craft stuff.  That blog I finally deleted this month.  There was nothing on it except a redirect back to this one.  I'd used it as intended for this one, initially.  Then this one had served it's purpose and I started posting crafty stuff on here and on Crafty Bits.  I was beginning to repeat.  I merged both to this one, my original.  Then I virtually stopped blogging and since then it's been on and off.

Strangely, when Dad became ill I didn't feel the need to blog as I did with Mum.  We lost Dad just before Christmas in 2011.  I was flat clearing and funeral arranging over that Christmas.  His cremation took place on 3rd Jan 2012.  He would have been 90 at the end of that month and he would have become a great-great grandad 9 days after his cremation.  I still didn't feel the need to use the blog in the way I did with Mum.  In 2010 my hubby was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  In the past 3 years he's had 3 long periods in the hospice - not once was he expected to come home.  He did, each time.  Last July (2016) all barr one medic had given up on him and he was effectively sent home for his 'last days'.  That one medic insisted that a treatment be made available to him.  6 months is the usual time anyone is on it.  Hubby has just completed his 16th cycle.  It's possible that will have been his last.  We've had a brilliant year but the last few months haven't been too good.  He's had sepsis and it seems to have left him open to the slightest upset.  A failed CT scan a couple of weeks ago affected him badly and he's still suffering.  He's since had a successful CT scan.  We may get the result next week when we see the oncologist.  We're expecting bad news.  We're expecting no more of the medication he's on now.  We've been told that his kidneys are not good enough for full blown chemo.  We're expecting to be told that there is no more treatment available.  We're expecting, but we're hoping!  I may be using the blog again ..... I don't know.

In the past 7 months I've been crafting.  I've been on a craft retreat in Aberdeen (my first ever trip to Scotland and to a part of my maternal ancestral area).  There's been another House Party (the 9th year).  I've been on my very first cruise and hubby and I have had a couple of weeks away together.   I've lots of photos.  I've photos of holidays, retreats, cards, mixed media and all sorts.  I've not been in the right frame of mind to blog.  I've not felt a need to blog.  I've considered closing the blog completely.  I'm keeping it open.  I may need it!
Thanks for dropping by .....

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