Monday, 29 September 2008

It's been ...

... nearly a week but seems longer, since I last posted. There's a lot gone on over those days, some to record, some best forgotten. Some good, some bad and a lot of tears - too many! I seem to be extremely emotional at the moment and I get angry with myself for not having better control. Seems the older I get the more emotional I become.

Good bit ..... I had a visit from my little grand-daughters and they gave me a bouquet of flowers, each flower selected by the older one because they went to a 'proper' florist. Her Dad said she loved it .... bless her! The bouquet is gorgeous. Spray carnations, small chrysanthemums, freesias, gypsophila and maidenhair fern. All pinks and lilacs because they're her favourite colours. A bit of not too good news. It seems that baby Zac may be deaf in one ear. More tests to come as it may just be an infection. We will know ... in time.

Bad bit ..... Dad and Ollie.
For various reasons - things that have happened over a few weeks - I had to take Ollie to vet on Friday with full expectation of not bringing him home again. Seems, although he shouldn't be here, he does really have cancer and it is spreading to other organs hence a huge weight loss he's had over the past couple of months. He was on a diet because he was very overweight but I doubled his food intake because he was losing so much and very quickly. Unfortunately the weight loss hasn't stopped. Now vet won't give him his annual booster due October, or give me the sedatives he has, ready for Guy Fawkes night. He says to collect them nearer the time, if needed :0( I've now got 2 lots of pills to give him so guess that replaces the 'creaming bum' - I've now got to wrestle a blooming dog twice a day and 3 times every other day!

Even worse is Dad. He's really not coping on his own when I'm not there. I think he spends most of his time asleep - but not all - and it's those times I'm concerned about. He's having trouble with normal day to day things like dressing in the morning and switching lights off amongst the lesser of the problems. I can hear myself talking to him and directing him like a mother does with a child and I don't want to be his mother. I'm his daughter and want to be his daughter. Having my hands down a blocked loo twice in a week has just about done it for me as well as a couple of things that could be entitled 'too much information' - LOL!! I'm also disappointed with the new cleaner. Her idea of cleaning isn't mine and I'm finding dirt remaining that should be gone after she's cleaned - no matter where. Think she'll be gone soon. I'll give her another week but if there's no change next week .....

I've spoken to him about "extra care housing" that our council has. It's like sheltered housing but with a bit more to it - a sort of half-way house to living totally on his own and being in a care home. Don't think he's too keen but it's a compromise and will take some of the worry from me and I can get back to being a daughter instead of his housekeeper, mother, cook, nurse and general dogsbody. Main problem here will be ..... vacancies!!

There's been other bits going on in the family as well but that comes under the bit - best forgotten - and definitely not things that I want to see repeated - EVER!!!

Good bit ..... I've finally got my shrub bed planted up so I've dug poo and spread bark - lol!! It's taken me 2 days to do it but I feel that I've actually achieved something, inbetween the Dad problems - lol!! Particularly feel as though I've achieved because I didn't think I'd actually be able to do it due to my health issues. I was determined to try before I shouted for help though. Would have taken a healthy and fit person no more than 2 to 3 hours to deal with it all but it took me so long because of working for 30 minutes and resting for an hour - lol! - just to dig the poo in. OK, it's manure or, to be really polite - soil conditioner! Eldest grand-daughter named it 'poo' and it's stuck - lol! So, 6 bags of poo followed by membrane spread with 6 bags of bark all done yesterday and the plants added today. May have lost 3 of the hebes but hoping, now they're in ground, that they may revive.

The weather has been glorious the past few days - well, since last Thursday really - but it's set to change and I can absolutely guarantee - without having to be told by a weather forecaster - that if it doesn't change overnight tonight it will tomorrow! Guess we could have called the past few days our late summer.

Thanks for dropping by .....


sheffsue said...

You've certainly got your hands full Peejay...don't forget your own needs or you won't be "able" for others.

Take care

Sue x

budge said...

Pam you are having an awful time by the sound of it but try and get some me time as it sounds as if you need it. Your flowers are gorgeous also your garden looks as if it is coming along great.
Take care
Sylv xx

Jackie said...

'thinking of you xxxxxxxx