Monday, 16 February 2009

RESULT! ...

... collected Dad from respite today. Before we left we booked him in for more weeks. He's now booked for a week every 2 months but those weeks can be extended and they're also happy to take him for the odd few days if 'something crops up' as long as they've space. When I asked him if he'd enjoyed it he said he had and then he said "I think it opened me up". Not too sure what he meant exactly but it was either that it had opened his eyes to what it was like having other people around or that it had brought him out of himself. He was certainly more chatty. He's always insisted that he was happy with his own company but I think he's now realised that there is something more out there and I have a feeling he was a bit brainwashed before but, we won't go into that - lol! Suffice to say that those who knew Mum would know where I'm coming from!!

Whatever, he really enjoyed it and that's a huge great bonus and it feels like a weight has lifted. Even more so as, he no longer wishes to live 'independently' either where he is or in sheltered housing - extra care or not. He has now told me he'd like to go into a residential care home. In other words he wants what he had last week on a permanent basis. I've explained that what he'll have on that basis would be much better and nicer. What he had last week, although clean and tidy, was pretty basic so anything else will be luxury and he'll be able to have some of his own personal bits with him!

If I'm honest, it's the result that I was hoping for. Selfish, I know, but regular visits and trips out can replace twice daily visits to feed, nurse, shop and housekeep. I can stop being his mother, wife, nurse, housekeeper and financial advisor/accountant and become his daughter again - as well as getting my life back! If I can find a place midway between me and my brother there's a chance that he might even visit him on a more regular basis but ..........

Need to talk to his case-worker now and get the ball rolling. Haven't a clue where to start so need pointing in the right direction, especially as he'll need funding but, watch this space - LOL!!

Thanks for dropping by .....

3 comments:

Budge said...

Pam that is good news about your Dad wanting to go into Residential care. As you say you will get your life back and be the loving daughter instead of carer. Also your dad will have company when he wants it.



Sylv xx

2s0zneleanor said...

I am so happy for you and your Dad.
It is wonderful that he sees the benefits of living in a residential home instead of maintaining his dogged independence - which can only be achieved by much hard work and commitment from you and your family. Best wishes.

Norma said...

good news Pam, so glad your Dad has decided on residential care, it will certainly be a weight off your shoulders.
Its so hard being a full time carer, just wish my Stephen could make decisions like that.

Norma x