Thursday, 28 May 2009

'T's' now ...

... crossed! Poor Dad was really confused this morning and it was really upsetting for me to see him like it. He's having trouble understanding that, although the four walls that surround him and who is looking after him are different, nothing else is. I saw another of his carers this morning and he actually saw how Dad was. He wanted to know if he was always like it - which he isn't - and I explained that I thought it was the move as Dad doesn't take any sort of change easily, let alone such a major when. I feel so guilty for what he's going through at the moment as I guess I sort of forced the move on him - although if he'd really objected he could have stayed where he was - but we, including him, all realise that, ultimately it's the best thing for him and me. Just wish we didn't have to go through all this first. Still, he's off for a week of respite on the 8th so hopefully that will come at the right time for him and give him a breather. He knows respite now and is comfortable with that and I have my Crafter's House Party weekend while he's away ..... bring-it-on!

We've tried to keep everything as near as possible to the way he had things previously, including the layout of his furniture and how he has the contents of it. Unfortunately there wasn't the room at the foot of the bed for his wardrobes so they're by the side of it. He told me this morning he couldn't find them but ... he has to walk past them to get to his bed! He now knows where they are and also that the contents are in exactly the same layout that he knows. The same with his wall unit which houses a plethora of stuff. He's admitted he can't get his head around the fact that nothing has changed except where he lives. That his routine for medication and the like is the same. I had left the information handbook about the flat next to him to look through but he hasn't. Me and my eldest spent a couple of hours with him today and crossed the t's and I've told him I'll call back in a few days but haven't stipulated when so he won't be sitting expecting me at any specific time. It may help him settle if I stay away for a while so that he gets used to finding things for himself and gets used to having others care for him and getting to know his carers.

I spent the afternoon at the old house as there's still stuff to do before the keys go back and there was a fridge and freezer to go. Freezer went this evening so that was good as I only advertised it last night. Lounge, master bedroom, landing and loo are all clear and cleaned. Just 2 bedrooms, stairs, kitchen and outbuilding to clear and clean and the keys can go back ....

Have to say I'm suffering with my leg and now my back where I've been trying to protect my leg but, I'm also feeling physically tired in a good way!

Thanks for dropping by .....


Trish said...

Hi Pam,
I'm glad for you that the move went reasonably well, it will just take a bit of time for your dad to settle in to his new surroundings. The photos make it look nice, bright and spacious. The separation for a day or 2 hopefully will indeed help him to get to know others and the carers will contact you if they feel it is necessary- it really will take so much pressure off you just knowing that they will be checking on him regularly.
It's time for you to try and get your leg and back sorted now- maybe some total rest might just be the start.
Wishing you both well in this new phase of your lives,

Anonymous said...

Hi Pam,it sounds like you got a good workout even if you didnt want one.It is hard to do this,it takes time.My Mum went into a place like your Dad is.It was lovely,Mum liked it.Its when you watch the men going about their day you know its strange to them.They do get used to it though.
Take care
Sue c