3 years ago today ...

... we lost Mum.  Sometimes it seems like yesterday, other times it seems such a long time ago.  Every time I go to Dad's I think of her.  I take the same route to Dad's that I took that last night when I was rung to say she hadn't long left.  I remember driving down the road, with the hospital building in sight, asking her to hang on.  She didn't.  She must have passed as I was parking the car.  I drive that same road and have that same view every week.  I remember that last few minutes as if they were yesterday.  I remember that it was the first time I was going to have a night off from sitting by her bedside.  I'd only left her an hour before the phone call came.  I think it was purposeful. I think she knew and she decided to spare me.  Did she?  I don't know but I don't think so.  I'd been there for her over all the years.  I was the one she called on in her hours of need.  I was also the one she didn't want to be a nuisance to but managed to be more of one in trying not to be.  I was the one that ultimately made the decision for the DNR on her notes although it would have been useless even if tried.  I wanted to be there for her at the very end and I wasn't. There are happy memories too, from times gone by, and I think of them and they make me smile.  Time does make it easier.

On a lighter note - I managed to get around to trying on my clothes purchases made at the beginning of the week and ........ yay!  I have clothes suitable for the wedding in Bali.  In fact, I have a small choice now so all is good and I can concentrate on the rest of the wardrobe to take - and make sure the hand luggage comes within size allowed.  3 weeks tomorrow and we'll be on the plane - just an hour away from landing in Doha and a 2 hour wait for our next plane - assuming, and hoping, there is no delay from this end :0)

Thanks for dropping by .....