Sunday, 21 June 2009

Hmmmm!! ...

... I paid a visit (well, it is Father's Day as well as being the longest day of the year)! Youngest son came with me - to see Dad, that is - as he hadn't seen him since the move. He couldn't believe what he saw either! Initial greeting was a look of thunder at both of us but total unrecognition then, penny dropped (at least with me) and I was greeted with - "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" I just replied "Well, I'll go then!" Spent the rest of the visit with an obnoxious old man who kept trying to deny he was being rude to the staff but giving excuses as to why he was! Seems that if they don't do things in exactly the way he wants at the times he wants he throws a wobbly - but he doesn't shout, according to him, and he's not un-cooperative either .... *right!*

I now totally believe what the staff have told me about his behaviour and I'm beginning to think that there have always been 2 different people in him - the one that Mum saw and the one the rest of us saw. Seems as though the one Mum saw is coming to the fore now. Seeing him as he was today was upsetting but - he's obviously not prepared to meet anyone even half way and he won't listen to any explanation as to why it would be better if he cooperated .... like him getting to go home sooner so, I'm starting to lose the guilty feelings. They're being replaced with anger at the moment however, which is not good but, perhaps I need to be a bit sterner with him instead, to try to shake him out of the mood he's in at the moment. I'm now sure that this would have happened even if he hadn't moved because, if he hadn't moved there was going to be a care plan, with carers replacing me, put into place where he was. That would have gone down like a lead balloon as well. It does seem as though he'd become completely dependent on me and doesn't like that it's changed but, he's got to get used to it - like it or not!

He said he wanted to know what had happened to me because he hadn't seen me for so long. He had forgotten I'd spent the day with him on Monday and trying to explain that I'd been doing 'stuff' for him (attending to a broken wardrobe and his washing), even if I'd not seen him, didn't seem to count!

I'll be running around for him, and on his behalf, tomorrow as well ............. and there's also ironing to do at his flat. Seems, although they do his 'laundry' it doesn't include the ironing *LOL*

Thanks for dropping by .....

2 comments:

Deb said...

Aww Pam, I really feel for you there, my Dad went exactly the same way after my Mum went. I cant offer you anything constructive cos I couldn`t change how he was but my thoughts are with you and hope you can sort your Dad out x

Anonymous said...

Same here Pam,cant offer much exept to say you are in my thoughts as you cope with your Dad x Sue c