Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Week of mixed ...

... emotions so far. Bit like the weather's been really. Up one minute and down the next. Starting to lose track of the days ... and the will to live at the same time. Had a good day Thursday but since then - well! Can't remember what happened on Friday so I'm guessing nothing of any note. Saturday weather was rubbish - drizzle to heavy rain all day and eldest was competing in an archery tournament. It was close to home so I popped down in afternoon to watch and support. He's not shot for a few weeks (new girlfriend - *lol*) and it showed. He came third overall but he wasn't happy with his overall performance and he wasn't any happier on Sunday when he was competing again! Weather was better - sunny and warm but it was blowing a gale. Not condusive to high scores. Pleasant afternoon for me though - *lol* Had the mickey taken 'cos I was trying to get a photo of an old diesel train going by ... the railway line ran right alongside the shoot! I did get one though - mickey taking or no *hehe* Also got the news while there that hubby had just become the County Veteran Champion in Double Trap (Clay Target shooting) .... Good one!

Monday. Day was spent doing some shopping and preparing for Dad to return to his little flat on Tuesday. Yep, his week in respite turned into a week in respite and 4 weeks in rehab! Anyway, Monday afternoon was spent at the flat getting it ready (waterproofing bed etc. ... more on that later)

Now, to my mind rehab meant that they would be working with him to get him back doing the things he'd stopped doing when he moved but was quite capable of doing ... at least, before the move. Wrong! Rehab, in this instance, meant them not allowing him to do anything at all. They didn't want him getting up, going to bed, washing, dressing or even going to the loo, without supervision. The only thing they've done is to help him walk with a walking (zimmer) frame when he used to use a walking stick or nothing at all. They assessed his ability in the kitchen by taking him in a wheelchair and asking him to make a cup of coffee - which he did (although he doesn't drink coffee), while sitting in the wheelchair. Then they wheeled him back to his room and noted he was 'able' in the kitchen! Did I miss something here? Dad doesn't use a wheelchair, except where there's a fair bit of walking that he wouldn't manage but then he's pushed, not self propelled. He doesn't sit to make drinks (which I was quite aware he could do) so ..... how does he move said drink/sandwich/food to where he wants to drink/eat it when he's using a walking frame?

Tuesday: He was brought back by the OT and Physio, sat on the sofa then told he didn't need to do anything because it would all be done for him and away they went. The only thing that 'rehab' has done is make him less able and now expecting everything to be done for him. He's become incontinent since he's been away (think it's because he was told he couldn't get out of bed without supervision) and he told me he'd not had a proper bath or shower in all the weeks he's been there, despite the incontinence. Seems it didn't occur to him to ask for one.

First problem arose later that afternoon/early evening. I got a phone call from a carer as he couldn't find Dad's medications. The way they're dispensed has changed since I last dealt with them so I'd left them on the bed in the bag the OT/Physio had brought them in, assuming that there would have been an official handover between the care staff. Got that one wrong! It hadn't happened which meant Dad had been without pain relief all day except for his very first dose of the day. It had been arranged for him to have Meals on Wheels and, if I hadn't been there when his first meal arrived he wouldn't have eaten it. He couldn't get it from the kitchen to where he eats.

Wednesday (today - I think!): 3 phone calls today. One from Estate Manager. He needs paperwork signed by Dad but wanted to know if I was happy for him to deal with it directly with Dad, who said he didn't mind dealing with it if I agreed. Yep, says I, but good luck and ring me if you have any probs. Second phone call - more serious this time! It was the District Nurse telling me she'd tried to gain access to Dad but unsuccessfully. Dad doesn't know how to use the entry system and I'm sure he doesn't hear the buzz as he's never reacted to it when I've been there. Seems there was nobody in the office to let her in either so she went away and phoned me. She's now got the Care Managers phone number. Hopefully they will liaise. Third phone call? The Estate Manager again. This time because Dad refused to deal with the paperwork and wanted me there! He'd forgotten he said he would and Estate Manager asked me if he had a memory problem as he didn't seem to remember him from this morning. Eerrrrr - hellooooo? Just when will somebody actually start to listen to what I've been trying to tell them? More to the point, when will they ask questions as to what type of person he is from those that know him instead of making assumptions on what they see in front of them.

I've got a good few regrets now - that I got Social Services involved, that he moved (despite the fact that this place could be soooo good for him) but most of all, that I became so involved at the outset. Mum always said he could never live on his own if anything happened to her before him. I agreed at the time but after her death he surprised us all and showed real strength of character but it's all disappeared and of late it's been encouraged to disappear completely by the 'caring professions'. In fact it really started to seriously disappear on 26th May 2009 - the day he moved! I'm more worried about him now than I've ever been .... and having more sleepless nights than ever :0(

Any bets on how long it will be before I'm packing up this flat for him to go into residential care? Think it's the only way now but it needs his 'home' carers to say that his needs are too great for them to handle.

Guess that's the 'bad' stuff of the mixed emotions out of the way. There has been some good-ish stuff as well ..... to be continued *LOL*

Thanks for dropping by .....

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