I'm tired ....

.... and weary.  I've not been getting much sleep of late but I really don't have much to complain about when I consider what OH is going through.  He's the reason I've not been getting much sleep.  His 'miracle' is turning into more of a curse, definitely a nightmare.  Initially it was exciting, thinking that life wouldn't be quite as restricted and we'd even talked about making a very long haul flight for him to meet family he's never met and only discovered existed about 3 years ago.  Think that may be back on the very unlikely to happen list ... sadly, very sadly.  The released nerves that gave him a bit of feeling back in his legs late summer 2015 so he had some, albeit very limited, use of them, started giving him major problems with pain around Christmas time.  Well, we think it's those nerves, the sciatic one particularly.  It may be the cancer.  Whatever, that pain has got progressively worse in time and intensity.  He's never free of it and can't bear the affected area being touched so pressure of any sort has him through the ceiling.    He's now residing in the local hospice while they try to get him some relief.  I hope it works but he's gone back 30 years or so with his symptoms.  It was pain such as he's having now which resulted in surgery and subseqently, the wheelchair.  I'm keeping everything crossed that they can help him as I dread to think what will happen if they can't.

Last year he had a problem with fluid build up and put on 5 stone of fluid in a matter of weeks.  He spent 3 months in the hospice then but they managed to sort it out and he lost all that fluid.   Since then he's lost another 2 stone in - as I call it - his 'fat' weight and it's still going down.  He's the healthiest and fittest he's been in a long while and now he's hit with this.  It doesn't seem fair.  Just when we think he's going to get some sort of normal life back he's dragged down again.  He doesn't deserve it.

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