Not a good day ...

... and will be even worse tomorrow.  Today is the start of a bad memory.  Today is the 2nd anniversary of being told that Dad was being put onto end of life care and it would be hours, rather than days.  It was the day I knew was coming, if I'm honest, from the day he was taken back to hospital, having been discharged and sent home too soon, previously.  I'd asked the medics a week earlier if he was dying.  It seemed obvious to me that he was.  They didn't deny it but they said there was hope.  There was no hope.   He was given 9 blood transfusions in 11 days.  There was something seriously wrong.  He went downhill so quickly.  It was a peptic ulcer that burst.  He bled to death.  We spent the evening with him.  Did he know we were there?  I don't know, but I felt that he did.  I phoned my brother to tell him to get there.  'I'll call tomorrow after' ... can't remember after what.  I shut down.  I just told him that Dad might not be there tomorrow.  He wasn't!  My brother never did see him in hospital.  He told me that the man he knew as Dad had died years ago.  That man had gone for me as well.  I was his 'mum', his 'wife', anything but his daughter in those last years,  after Mum died.  He was still my Dad.  I didn't visit because it was my 'duty'.  I visited and cared because he was my Dad!  Not the Dad he once was, perhaps, but the Dad that he became.  2 years ago, early tomorrow morning, 14th December, he died.  6 weeks short of his 90th birthday and 4 weeks short of becoming a great-great grandad.  Memories of him and Mum are strong right now.  Not the good memories - the one's I'd rather not have and the ones I have to bear alone.

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Headache ...

... do one!  I've had it all day and I'm fed up.  Went to my exercise class this morning not expecting to be able to get through it.  I did but only just however, came home and felt rough.  Cough is not getting any better and, although I live with one, this one is different to my norm. I feel sort of coldified (new word) it feels different and chest is very tight.  Thought I might be going down with a chest infection so phoned doc who's prescribed antibiotics and a course of steroids.  I've collected them but going to hold off of taking them for a day or 2 as I don't want to take them if I don't have to.  I'll see how things go.  Back when I had my last spirometry in the summer I was asked if I wanted a rescue pack.  Haven't had, or needed one, before so I declined.  I'm thinking it might not be such a bad idea for the winter.  I'm getting older and this COPD isn't going to go away but I do want to do what I can to delay it progressing - which is what the exercise is all about, to be honest.  Early night I think and see how things are in the morning.  Got a busy weekend so need to feel a bit more alive - lol!

Last card I've got made from the Christmas workshop.  I lied when I said I'd made all but 2 of them.  I've 3 still to make, or at least, in process of being made.  I've done bits of all 3 but not one is finished.  Not sure when they will be either.  Anyways, here's the last of the Christmas ones ... for now.

Papermania designer paper
Lilli of the Valley image & sentiment stamps
- Wink of Stella clear brush tip on the cuffs/hem of jacket , bobble and trim of hat.
Gems

Can't go and leave this post without making comment on the loss of an amazing, inspirational man and probably the most influential person of the 20th Century.  Nelson Mandela died yesterday evening, aged 95.  So many people owe their lives, as they are today, to this man.  He opened people's eyes and made them more aware that there is more to the human race than the colour of their skin.  The man done GOOD!

RIP 

Nelson Mandela

1918-2013

The world was a better place for having you in it and would be a whole lot better if there were more like you.

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Done! ...

... at least, it had better be!  Replacement ordered for the Christmas present that I ordered in October and that hasn't arrived.  I've heard from the company I had the order with.  They've accepted the cancellation (not that they had much choice, to be honest) and will be crediting me. Not sure how this credit will show yet but it's looking as though they credit my account and then I have to apply for an actual refund.  I asked for a refund from the outset but I'm sure the card company will ensure that's what I get.

I've sold more unwanted bits and yesterday there was an offer too good to refuse on a new machine.  The Xcut Xpress, which has ticked all my boxes with just one reservation, was on offer for one day only at a price I'd have been mad to let go, so I ordered it.  The good thing is that it's actually cost me nothing as I've used the money from my sales of unwanted crafty stuff to buy it.  Money previously spent so it's not draining my current bank balance - lol!  MInd you, I spent a lot more than I'm selling for and, bearing in mind it's all brand new, unused ... just old and mostly discontinued/retired ... I'm practically giving it away.

All mailings that needed mailing are either done or ready to go to the post office so I've only the present wrapping to do, relevant bags filled and I can call it finished until the day.  Got quite a busy time between now and then though so perhaps it's just as well I'm quite well organised this year.

Hubby took me to pick up a new satnav yesterday.  My old one wore itself out some while ago and it's replacement - hubby's old one - wasn't much better.  It didn't seem to like the south.  Worked fine north of Watford and did well in Wales.  Wasn't so keen on getting us out of Wales ... or out of my own area - lol!  Anyways, got a brand spanking new one care of Tesco Boost.  First one was named Boris, 2nd one never worked well enough for me to bother about naming.  Wonder what this one'll be called?

Now for another couple of cards from the Christmas workshop day (still got 2 to make - lol!) ....

Imagination snowflake mask
Hobbycraft sentiment stamp
Gems

White card
Stampin' Up Lovely as a Tree stamp
White embossing powder
Stampin' Up sentiment stamp
Acetate window

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Feeling old ...

... eldest son is 41 today!  Mind you, his son makes me feel even older when his birthday comes round.  He's not long had his 22nd birthday *scary*

Had a busy few days but apart from the 1st Christmas present I ordered back in October I've got them all now.  Contacted the card company about the 'missing' one.  I bought this particular present on the understanding it was being delivered from Milton Keynes.  Seems I was being delusional, despite what the website said as I was notified a couple of weeks after ordering it that it had been 'shipped internationally'  I've been kept informed all the way down the line, even to the point of being told that the shipment had gone missing after it had arrived at the 'local depot' and now my order has been 'locked'!  I knew I wasn't dealing with a UK company but only ordered because I thought it was coming from a UK warehouse.  Card company are raising a chargeback dispute (oh how familiar that sounds, having worked for a major card company for a few years) and I've emailed the company to tell them what to do with their order - lol!  Unfortunately what I ordered is no longer available anywhere else at a reasonable price so I'll have to get the 'upgraded' version which is a bit bigger than was really wanted but there's not much I can do about it now.

I've also been busy photographing and listing 'stuff' on eBay.  Loadsa crafty 'stuff' I don't want, will never use now - despite all good intentions.  Anyone interested can look HERE :)  I'm likely to be adding other 'stuff' over time *wink*

OK, a couple more cards from the Christmas workshop.  I've still not got round to making the remaining 2.  Not much chance at the moment either - ho, hum :)

Round card blank cut with Spellbinders nesties (I cut across straight to stop it rolling.
No idea on the white mat die
Think the deer is a Tattered Lace - not sure. Just know it was a nightmare to cut.  This was the 4th attempt.  The rest went in the bin. (Not impressed with Tattered Lace at all, I have to say.)
Gems

Designer paper, Papermania
Stamps are both Stampin' Up.
Gingerbread man was cut with a matching die/framelit.
Ribbon

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A couple more ...

... from the Christmas workshop. A bit later than anticipated as I've asked a question and waiting a reply which doesn't appear to be forthcoming.  Nothing to do with the cards but relevant to this post.  Will post anyway ....
I loved the diversity of the designs Clair came up with.  I so wish I had the imagination.

An 8 x 8 inch (20 x 20 cm) card.
Imagination embossing folder
No idea whose die or stamp
Spellbinders Shapeabilities - 2013 Snowflake Pendant
Gems

An A6 card
Woodware Clear Stamp - Snowflakes & Sparkles
No idea re the Let it Snow stamp or the plaque die
White embossing powder
White ribbon
Candi made with a punch and matching card scraps.

I've started the photo book of mine and Jackie's holiday to Italy earlier this year.  Should have started it sooner but I'd already done 3, or is that 4, photo books this year and I kind of ran out of steam.  It takes a while to put the holiday ones together (it takes a while to put any together if I'm honest) as I research the places we visit so I can put a little info in the book and I also like to tell little 'stories'.  I keep a diary (I know, I'm sad) on a daily basis while we're away to remind me of what we got up to when the memory of the laughs we have start to fade - lol!  Have to say I love doing the books but I do have to be in a 'creative' mood to do them as I don't just dump photos in and hope for the best.  I can take a whole evening just doing 4 to 6 pages, or less.  Layout is everything and the choice of photos is hard when there's so many to choose from.  I prepare the books and then wait for a deal to come along.  I never, ever pay full price for a book and I never buy in advance and put myself under pressure to 'perform'.  Did it once, never again.  Gave me a month and I went to the wire.  Hated it.  Much prefer taking my time and there's always an offer round the corner *big grin*

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